An emergency kit is basically a little plastic or metal box that is prepared in case of an emergency, it needs to be small enough to carry easily and big enough to fit in enough supplies to last you at least a few days. Here is a list of what we believe should be included in an emergency kit (the list of emergencies this can be used in ranges from floods to earthquakes to zombie apocalypses):

1) Dehydrated Food It’s non perishable and a hell of a lot lighter than carrying three days worth of meals around. It’s also easier to prepare, you just have to add hot water.

2) Water- Carrying a few bottles of water would probably help you last a little longer, but only just a little.

3) Mandarin Phrase Book- Just in case.

4) Duct tape- Can fix anything. It can be used as a temporary bandage. Or you just could carry bandages.

5) Lighter- To light fires in case you’re stranded without electricity and it’s really cold or dark and not for the purpose of smoking of course. Statutory Warning: Cigarette smoking is injurious to health. None of the characters in this article endorse smoking. Smoking causes cancer. Smoking Kills.

6) Knife- Because axes are too heavy.

7) Alcohol To clean wounds. And don’t use good scotch to clean wounds, it’s more honourable to die of infection than waste good scotch.

8) Radio- To listen to the latest updates on the situation by the government, or to Party All Night if it happens to be playing.

9) Smart Phone- Because it’s 2014.

10) Batteries- Because it’s really annoying when your  batteries die.

11) Toilet Paper- Because we’re not savages.

12) Medicine- So you don’t die a slow painful death by disease (leave that to starvation, dehydration or the zombie hordes)

13) Medical Emergency Book- In case you can’t fit your local doctor in your emergency kit.

14) Flashlight- To scare the monsters away.

15) Green Sleeveless Jacket- So you look like a professional survivor.

16) Crazy Survivalist Uncle- Though he probably won’t fit in your back pack

17) MP3 player- Because survival always seems cooler when you’re listening to hard rock.

18) Boots – So mother nature knows you mean business.

19)  Video Camera- So you can record your endeavours and sell it to the Discovery Channel if you survive, you might just get your own show.

20) Aviator Sunglasses- So you can make survival look good.