History is glorious, but it also has a lot of nasty attributes to it that people tend to forget or ignore altogether because it’s inconvenient to know and discuss, much like sex or global warming. We’d happily write about some modern barbaric practices but won’t because the thought of a life hiding in an Ecuadorian embassy doesn’t appeal to us. Nevertheless it’s important to realise what sickos we were in the distant past to realise why we’re such sickos in the present and will be sickos in the future. People often look to the past as the good old days, the truth is they really weren’t, the world always has been a messed up place ever since we learnt to walk upright, in our opinion we never should have left the trees to begin with, who in their right mind wouldn’t like swinging from trees all day without doing any work? But we digress, Here are a list of the 3 ancient practices we consider the most barbaric (it was a particularly difficult list to compile because of the sheer number of ancient barbaric practises in existence)

1) Human Sacrifice- Of all the crazy things the ancients did, the most barbaric was possibly human sacrifice (thought for the sake of argument we’ve all had classmates we’d be willing to throw into an active volcano to appease the Gods). In human sacrifice a person (ore sometimes people) is killed as part of a religious ritual for the purposes of good harvests or to prevent the wrath of the Gods. Whatever the cause human sacrifice was popular in many places especially among the Aztecs who were the big dawgs of this practise. Human sacrifice has been on the decline (fortunately) for a while now, but there are isolated cases of it occurring occasionally.

2) Cannibalism- This is another baddie, many tribes practised it until the 19th century. Ladies, when a cannibal tells you he could eat you all up, he isn’t hitting on you. Cannibalism exists in nature and humans are no exceptions. Cannibalism may be committed out of necessity in case of famines or food shortages as a result of wars, but also was a regular committed amongst various tribes as a cultural practise, which gave Europeans a reason to swoop in and massacre them, because genocide and colonialism are far more civilized than cannibalism. Cannibalism still exists today but is not as common as it used to be.

3) Slavery- Slavery is a big no-no in the modern world, or at least overt slavery is. Slavery is basically when one man is the property of another man and the owner can do to the slave whatever he wishes. Slavery was often imposed on convicts or prisoners of war in the ancient world (e.g. Rome). Slavery existed world wide and was one of the reasons for the American Civil War. While it would be wrong to say slavery is dead, it would be right to say you can’t legally own another human being.