The 11th of May is Mother’s Day in India. We celebrate Mother’s Day in India for two reasons, the first because we love our mums and the second because the Americans do it.

Mother’s Day is celebrated on different days in different countries but the most common date is on the second Sunday of May which makes remembering Mother’s Day an extremely difficult process that only the worthiest of us can overcome. It’s necessary to remember Mother’s Day for the same reason it’s necessary to remember any event involving a female, if you don’t she’ll make you regret it one way or another. Here’s a to-do list for Mother’s Day:

1) Know when Mother’s Day is: This is an extremely trick procedure as it requires you to use a calendar, or worse the internet to find out the exact date. The second Sunday of May has been chosen especially to confuse the humble users of the Gregorian Calendar. The date keeps changing so you have to be on your toes.

2) Remember Mother’s day: Knowing when it’s  Mother’s day is all well and good but what’s far more important is remembering the day at least three days in advance (that’s today by the way) so you can make ample preparations, or sub standard preparations for all we care.

3) Procure Present- This is the most difficult of all the steps because it involves leaving the house. Only the most dedicated children (or offspring rather) can do this. It helps to buy a ridiculously overpriced object of no practical use from a pseudo- American store with an odd name, women love them.

4) If you’re too cheap to buy a present you could always write a card.

5) Don’t make your present too fancy because you’ll make the rest of us look bad, and you’ll also be expected to maintain that level of fanciness next year making it even more stressful.