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Ellen DeGeneres gets Medal of Freedom: 10 of the most hilarious quotes from Ellen’s books
“Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.'..." Ellen DeGeneres's books are a treasure trove of amazing life advice.
November 23: Talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres was on Wednesday awarded with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Barack Obama at the White House, and the former’s fans are thrilled. DeGeneres has been an entertainer and an inspirational figure for millions of people not just in America, but across the world. With a career spanning over almost four decades, Ellen is one of the most well-known Americans in the world.
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She has been a vocal proponent of equality for all and made an example of self-love by coming out to the world some 20 years ago, when it was extremely difficult and dangerous to do so. Ellen has several feathers in her cap- she is a comic, animal rights activist, an entrepreneur and also an author of several bestselling books.
We bring you the best and the most hilarious of Ellen DeGeneres quotes from her books:
#1 On embracing your true self
“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
#2 On Writing a book
“You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic. No wonder I drink so much! Then I get so drunk, I can barely feed the baby. That’s what I call myself when I’m drunk, “The Baby.”” (From The Funny Thing is..)
#3 On Laughing until you cry
“Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, “I can’t tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let’s walk faster.” Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
#4 On Beauty and Health
“Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
#5 On mishearing song lyrics
“Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you’ve never sung before, and you realize you’ve never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, ‘Life in the Fast Lane?’ That’s what they’re saying right there? You think, ‘why have I been singing ‘wipe in the vaseline?’ how many people have heard me sing ‘wipe in the vaseline?’ I am an idiot.” (From My point is…And I do have one)
#6 On the impact of technology
“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.
Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”
“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”
“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
#7 On positive thinking
“Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of ‘I think I’m a loser,’ try ‘I definitely am a loser.’ Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don’t even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?” (From The Funny Thing is..)
#8 On social media bragging
“Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn’t just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, ‘I ate waffles for breakfast!’ That’s why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time.” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
#9 On how to deal with haters
“Who’s to say what’s better or worse anyway? Who’s to even say what’s normal or average? We’re all different people and we’re allowed to be different from on another. If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don’t curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hat. That’ll show them.” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
#10 On the science behind happiness
“Now,I’m no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They’re tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they’re saying and that boosts your health and happiness. “Knock Knock… Who’s There?.. Little endorphin… Little endorphin who?… Little Endorphin Annie.” And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.” (From Seriously..I’m Kidding)
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