10 things to expect from Dhoom 3

The Dhoom franchise is India’s only heist/action film that doesn’t completely insult your intelligence. Of course, seeing Uday Chopra successfully woo women with his brand of tapori charm needs so

Updated: December 19, 2013 11:52 AM IST

By Nirmalya 'Nemo' Dutta

Katrina kaif

Dhoom 3The Dhoom franchise is India’s only heist/action film that doesn’t completely insult your intelligence. Of course, seeing Uday Chopra successfully woo women with his brand of tapori charm needs some suspension of disbelief but by and large the film has managed to create a benchmark as far as action films are concerned in Bollywood. And this time they’ve roped in Mr Perfectionist Aamir Khan as the Clown Thief, a baddie who seems to be the master of deception, acrobatics and sartorial sense and has the wooden-but-hot Katrina Kaif as his sidekick/love interest/protégé/niece (jury’s still out on that). Here are ten things you should expect from Dhoom 3:

1. The film will be based on a reasonable script and have a semblance of a plot

Dhoom-3-Katrina,-Aamir-2If there’s one thing we can expect from an Aamir Khan movie, it’s the fact that it will not completely mock your senses. Anyone with an average IQ who’s watched the recent movies – Krrish 3, Chennai Express, Ek tha Tiger and Dabangg – that have made big bucks at the box office have left wondering exactly why the aforementioned directors, producers and the powers-that-be couldn’t hire scriptwriters with such a large budget. The only exception of that rule was Aamir Khan’s 3 Idiots which despite being based on perhaps the worst book written in English in India, still was quite an enjoyable movie. Rest assured Mr Perfectionist won’t let us down.

2. Aamir Khan will show his abs

Aamir Khan AbsThe abs has become the defining muscle of our times and it’s impossible to shoot a Hindi movie without the lead actor sporting six- (and sometimes eight-pack) abs. In fact, there’s an entire parallel fitness industry that runs on the actor talking about his fitness regime and diet which allowed him to get in shape for a particular movie. And the trailer confirms that Mr Perfectionist will show some abs.

3. Katrina Kaif will swing more than talk

Katrina kaifKatrina Kaif has come a long way since her Boom days which almost launched her soft porn career instead of a Bollywood one. Then B-town’s longest surviving virgin Salman Khan took her under his wings and Kat became one of the most sought-after leading ladies in B-town despite still not being able to string two sentences together in Hindi. Expect her to swing around the screen more than speak any lines.

4. For some bizarre reasons everyone will communicate, talk and even leave notes in Hindi

Dhoom-3

Despite being based in a foreign location, the thief seems to leave messages which conveniently help the cops to narrow down the community the thief is from. Of course, considering their previous record, Jai and Ali need all the help they can get.

5. The laws of physics will go out of the window

Dhoom-3_3

While heist films do have a tendency to stretch the boundaries of physics, the trailer suggests that this movie will certainly leave Sir Isaac Newton turning in his grave. That being said, any action-heist film does require a suspension of disbelief.

6. Ali will get the girl

uday chopra-bipashaWhile you can suspend your disbelief about the laws of motion, it’s harder to do so when it comes to  laws of attraction. Somehow the Uday Chopra’s obnoxious garage mechanic act always manages to entice the hot girl and he does it without charm, appeal or even money. And Uday Chopra actually told TOI in an interview that he manages to hook up with an Australian actress playing a US cop in this movie without even speaking the language! Of course, truth can sometimes be stranger than fiction and yours truly went into a bout of deep, deep depression when he learned that Uday Chopra was actually dating the unimaginably hot Nargis Fakhri.

7. The villain’s crimes will be completely justified

Dhoom-3-Aamir-Khan-2

The trailer of the movie suggests that there’s a back story which explains why Jackie Shroff’s adorable card-playing son turns into a thief but rest assured that like every Bollywood sob story, Aamir Khan’s actions will be completely justified.

8. The villain will not get caught

dhoom 2 loveIf there’s one thing you can be sure of in the Dhoom franchise, it’s the fact that the cop duo will not catch the villain mastermind. While John Abraham plunged to his death rather than getting caught by Jai and Ali, they let Hrithik’s character go in the second movie because he was in love! Rest assured Aamir Khan’s character will not be caught by the end of this film!

9. It will be the highest grossing Indian film of all time

chennai expressThe movie has all the ingredients to completely reshape the box-office landscape. Aamir Khan’s box-office appeal, Katrina’s hotness and insane stunts should make this the biggest blockbuster of them all.

10. Uday Chopra will retire from acting!

uday chopraAnd while this might not be a plot device in the movie, the very fact that Uday Chopra has decided to retire from acting after Dhoom 3 has reinvigorated the entire nation and the Twitterati in particular were delighted with the news. Having acted in classics like Mere Yaar Ke Shaadi Hai, Mujshe Dosti Karoge, Charas, Neal ‘n’ Nikki and Pyaar Impossible, the Chopra scion will now get into filmmaking although he joked he will moving to CERN in Switzerland to take a wormhole to an alternate universe where he will rule as a God (poor universe). While making physics references seems to be the in-thing among never-do-well scions of influential families, it’s heartening to know that we will never see young master Chopra onscreen ever again!  That alone is worth the movie becoming the biggest Bollywood blockbuster of all time!

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