Several years after you devoted your life to eating plants and green stuff, came along some of your incredible friends and acquaintances. And this was the moment when they made you realise that being vegetarian is the worst thing you could have done to yourself. Have they heard of Sajid Khan films or Yo Yo Honey Singh songs, which are by far the worst? From being labeled as boring to where being asked where you get your proteins from, there are n number of things you have to listen to when it comes to your preference of food. Why? Because we are VEGETARIANS!
We list down a series of annoying things that have been repeatedly told by all our dear meat-eating friends:
1. Phir se Paneer…oh, paneer is like vegetarians’ chicken, right?
The paneer thing is one of the most commonly heard words said to a vegetarian friend by the rest of his/her group. Sometimes you tend to wonder if the statement comes from Harvard researchers. Something like – According to Harvard University, “Paneer is chicken for vegetarians”. Yes, and all your friends have read this statement it seems!
2. So you have never tasted chicken in your life? Like ever? Not even one single piece?
Yes, you heard it right. I have not and don’t plan to. Please stop staring at me like this or your eyeballs might fall to the ground. Why on earth is it so hard to believe that somebody can live without the chicken kebabs that you are not tired of salivating about?
3. What man…she is vegetarian. No life!
As if, if had I eaten chicken, I would have have grown some kind of wings. And what is with that rolling of eyes, every time you mention that I’m vegetarian? I am still going to be the same with or without the flappy winged meat.
4. What party? She is anyway going to eat ghaas-phoos!
Excuse me, I am not a cow and I am not going to eat ghaas-phoos. There is going to buffet with hot vegetarian cuisines, so you please watch me gorging on all of that. And by the way, the ghaas-phoos list is way longer than your tandoori-chicken list.
5. So only you are like this, or your entire family is like this.
First of all – WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ‘LIKE THIS’? I am not challenged in any form to be a vegetarian. It is a very personal choice like many of you would have.
6. Don’t worry, Hang out with us, we will teach you how to be normal.
Well, thank you but actually no thanks. I think I am pretty much normal.
7. At least eat eggs, they are kind of Veg!
What do you mean by egg being kind of veg? And please do not start with the theory on eggs that have still not brought life are veg, because I am not interested.
8. We will mix chicken piece in your food, you would not even come to know about it
Now I am seriously thinking about hanging with you. Believe you me; I am very serious about this analysis. And dare you even think about doing that, like ever.
9. There was egg in it, I’m so sorry
This happens so now and then that you have actually stopped believing your friends. You end up checking it thrice yourself to be like double, trebles sure.
10. We non-vegetarians at least do not harm plants that give us oxygen, you Oxygen Monster!
Seriously, did you just call me Oxygen Monster? We do not uproot trees and eat them. So please stop with this never ending non-veg vs veg war that was not even started by me.
11. I am also vegetarian. I eat chicken only when I’m drunk. Are you like that?
No, not actually. But I like your way too. But can we call it ‘Selective Vegetarian’ please?
12. Finally, I hope you end up getting married to a guy who is hard-core non-vegetarian
Why? Why? What have I done wrong to you? Which friend talks like that?