Everybody is rather disappointed by Mumbai’s rather low voter turnout for the elections, being Mumbaikars ourselves we feel it’s necessary to make the authorities aware of what it will take to woo us to vote next election season. We guarantee that if these suggestions are met Mumbai will have a far higher turn out of voters for the next elections: (before you read the rest of the article please note that this is a satire, which means we’re poking fun at an actual situation. This is not meant to offend anyone, especially not any political party, please don’t sue us.)
1) Polling booths should be air conditioned, obviously this goes without saying, how the hell are we supposed to make informed decisions when it’s hot?
2) Free Wi- Fi at all polling centres if you really want us to show up in large numbers.
3) Legalisation of selfies inside polling booths.
4) One free photograph at the expense of the state to be uploaded to the voter’s Facebook, and Instagram accounts along with a cliché caption.
5) Regular advertisements before the elections of celebrities reminding us that if we don’t vote they’ll come to our house and beat us up.
6) People who fail to vote will be forced to read (out loud) all their voter friend’s status updates about what gargantuan tasks they’ve performed by voting, under the supervision of a police officer.
7) To encourage women to vote all polling booths will be located within 200 metres of the nearest Zara or Forever 21.
8) Warn people that if voter turnout doesn’t reach at least 80% next election season annoying anti smoking ads will be broadcast for 5 minutes every hour, every day on all TV channels and radio stations till 2020.
9) Mumbaikars can vote for their candidate of their choice via Twitter if they live more than 300 metres away from the nearest polling station.
10) Instead of getting their fingers inked with a black dot after voting Mumbaikars will instead have their hands autographed by any of the 3 Khans. There’s no way anyone’s going to remove that to try and vote again.