Somnath Bharti – The Dark Knight Delhi needs but doesn’t deserve!

Somnath Bharti

During dark times, there often rises a hero who will clean all the filth, do things that others are not willing to do. They are called a lot of different things – anarchists, vigilantes or even criminals but the true believers know that they’re the hero that they need. While Somnath Bharti’s vigilante action to get rid of Ugandans and Nigerians who were in the sex trade, selling drugs and having a good time may have drawn a lot of flak from opposite party members, the media and anyone who believes in human rights, the residents of Khirki Extension consider him their greatest hero.

Speaking exclusively to India.com, one resident told us, ‘You’ve no clue how bad things were down here – people openly doing drugs and drinking, selling drugs and indulging in prostitution. It was like a scene right out of Grand Theft Auto!’ Another one said: ‘What Bharti has done for us, no other political party has done for us in 60 years. He is our Dark Knight, the man who got rid of scum for us. He is willing to clean up the muck like his colleague Arvind Kejriwal. While Arvind is the Superman of the group (Justice League of AAP), Somnath is the darker version, willing to do things his colleagues don’t. He has that edge, and gumption to follow up. He also manages to inspire far more fear!

When asked about what they thought of the Ugandan woman’s statement that they were ‘told to leave the country because they were blacks and threatened to kill them’, the residents looked uncomfortable but one of them summed it up saying: ‘Dark times call for dark measures’. (Read: 7 important issues that AAP manifesto must cover)

Any talk of egalitarianism was hushed up by the gathered crowd at Khirki Extension: ‘Everyone knows these Africans only indulge in sex, drugs and alcohol. It’s like they don’t have any respect for our traditions. This is India, sex, drugs and alcohol is only allowed in Ram Gopal Varma movies.’ (Read: Will AAP members be the new untouchables?)

But what about the police, who’re supposed to take care of things like this? ‘Please everyone is bought, every cop is corrupt. There’s nothing anyone was willing to do. We’re so grateful to Bharti and AAP. If only there were more like him, this nation would be eradicated of all these problems!’ As we returned we heard a cackle of laughter coming from above and on the ledge was a man with a lot of  face-paint! Before we could catch a glimpse he disappeared.

Watch this space for the sequel: The return of the Joker!

The Joker

Pictures by: Jyoti Desale

Disclaimer: This is satire piece. We sincerely hope Somnath Bharti does not visit our office.