The Indian version of Roast – the All India Bakchod (AIB) Knockout hosted by Karan Johar may well be called AIB Knockoff. A roast is a fun and comic way of intelligently offending people but also makes you laugh. It can or cannot be for charity but the main point is there is a lot of smart humour. AIB Knockout is not an adaptation and comes across as a very bad attempt at a roast!

AIB, as someone mentioned once, is a big sellout. And the only reason they were able to get known names like actors Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh, film critic Rajeev Masand and ex-Roadies man Raghu Ram to participate and filmmaker Karan Johar to host is because they have got good contacts, which is usually an indicator that content is not going to be the priority. It is more a case of ‘you scratch mine I scratch yours’ – may be back may be balls – depends on which side of the bed AIB wallahs got up.

Well timed filthy language to say what we are thinking uncut and uncensored in our minds is what happens in a roast. But you come up with intelligent things that you could have said, not go in a frenzy to just throw cuss words in an attempt to make people laugh with shock that a celebrity could actually speak like us mere mortals.

We have a few reasons to show how the AIB Knockout was a total bogus platform with juvenile humour mostly based on cheap antics and a lot of crass language. Here are the five reasons why we thought the AIB Knockout sucked!

Deepika Padukone’s hypocrisy: The huge fiasco that Deepika Padukone created over her cleavage-revealing picture being objectified was made a complete mockery of in the AIB Knockout roast. Karan Johar jokes that the last best thing that Ranveer Singh was in, was Deepika Padukone. If Deepika Padukone is such a sensitive person, which we all inferred from her reaction to The Times of India’s tweet showing her cleavage, then how could she laugh to a direct reference to her sexual intercourse with Ranveer Singh?

If you search for Deepika Padukone’s cleavage on Google, you will find more than a few pictures that are photoshoots with Deepika showing off more than ample cleavage that appears in several magazines. So what was all the fuss about when ToI tweeted about it? You are free to wear whatever you want to, but when you don’t object to people clicking your pictures with your cleavage showing and use it to get more eyeballs in films like Race 2, then you can’t make a fuss about it.

Karan Johar’s homosexuality: Karan Johar is not the manliest man in the stereotypical sense and there have been rumours of him being homosexual for years. This has been acknowledged in award functions as well in the form of jokes and limericks but the AIB Knockout Roast took it way too far. To top it all, Karan Johar’s mother was sitting in the front row of the audience listening to her son getting another dose of homosexual jokes.

Karan Johar almost agrees to enjoy sex with men after a joke by Arjun Kapoor, who suggests that for Ranveer Singh’s career to get a boost, he should do a film with Dharma Productions, owned by Karan Johar. Ranveer Singh runs towards Karan Johar sitting on a chair and waits like a dog for Karan Johar to have sex with him and give him a role in his next film. As if this wasn’t gross enough, Karan Johar quickly runs takes centrestage and announces that Ranveer Singh has taken his position, with the audience and panelists roaring with laughter.

Several jokes were overused: From Karan Johar admitting his choice of charity being a cliché as he would donate to Being Human’s charitable trust to Arjun Kapoor flunking in 12th standard exams, there were lots of jokes that seemed to be like a cheat code to the audience to cue laughter.

Ashish Shakya was targeted for being dark-skinned with jokes like he shouldn’t be present in a roast because he seems to be already burnt, that if he were any blacker, Angelina Jolie would adopt him and that when he was born Ashish Shakya was scanned for Ebola. WTF for that! Racist jokes and jokes on Ebola!

Agreeing to Raghu Ram’s statement: You must have watched or at least have a brief idea about the concept of Roadies. A bunch of idiots try all kinds of stunts and at the end of the show they win a motorcycle. On top of the excessively abusive co-host, Raghu Ram, he also ‘acted’ in Tees Maar Khan which was just the last straw to end his sad legacy of being a hardcore anchor.

Raghu Ram takes the stage and gets back at the AIB crew for criticising him and his show while AIB does the same thing. Have an opinion on something and overabuse that to show their stand on it. Agreeing to something that some messed up idiot like Raghu Ram was indeed a painful thought. But the saddest thing is that his statement is what stays with you once you have seen all three parts of the AIB Knockout for being absolutely true. But Raghu Ram does instil our reasons for hating him, as he goes to say things like My Name Is Khan was a shit film while that was one of the few films that even Shah Rukh Khan haters like.

Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh’s comedy: Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh try desperately to be funny and fail on an atomic level. They were so not funny that it didn’t even appeal to our juvenile side unlike the rest of the AIB Knockout.

Their expressions of satisfactory jokes was hyper to say the least, no joke in the entire AIB Knockout made us fall off the chair with laughter but Arjun Kapoor seemed to be rolling on the floor for quite some time. Jokes on Ranveer Singh being a sexual offender and Arjun Kapoor on being a bigger failure in the Kapoor family despite having people like Sonam Kapoor and Sanjay Kapoor in the family really shows how talent is not given a chance and actors with the right surname and the ability to hire a personal trainer in the gym is all you need to get a role in a film.