The day is finally here! Sanju baba aka Sanjay Dutt will finally be out of jail (eh, when was he ever IN jail, you ask? Tsk, now don’t be mean…) and but naturally all of Bollywood is elated. There will be huge welcome parties right outside Yerwada with garlands and perhaps Rajkumar Hirani will be there too with a doctorate degree or two for the MBBS star to sign… Whatever anyone might say about the super-star, it is a big moment for anyone in his or her life to come out from jail, regardless of the amount of time they spent inside. With Sanjay Dutt finally ending one of the most difficult phases of his life, here’s a few things we can imagine the actor will do right after getting out!
1. Frame the Rs 440 he earned as his first ‘khari kamaai‘
Remember those good ol’ Scouts & Guides days when you would go from home to home, doing menial tasks and earning peanuts? Well, it happened to the born-with-a-silver-spoon Sanju Baba too and we’re sure he’s gonna be framing that money and putting it up on his wall as a *shudder* reminder of how difficult it is not work like a layman!
[ALSO READ: Sanjay Dutt to walk out of jail on February 25 with Rs 440 salary]
2. Write a best-seller on ‘101 Excuses To Legally Stay Out Of Jail’
And it will fly off shelves. No doubt. Pssst, Sanju, if you be nice, Chetan Bhagat might even do the writing for you. Or write his next book ‘inspired’ by your heart-melting story. Sigh. So much the awwwness.
3. Teach his kids the numbers by making them count how many days he was in jail
And those little critters will never really learn beyond the double digits, will they? Poor thingies. But then, as long as they can look straight into a camera, expression or not, who gives a care about things like maths? What’s we paying those accountants for, eh?
4. Exchange ‘jail tips’ with Sallu
Because, well… Same industry and they be the two bhai bhais… And no, don’t worry. Sallu can’t really use the same tricks. After all, how will the ‘virgin’ bhai fake his wife’s illness to get out and stay out? His own 6-pack reducing to 4-pack reason enough judge?
[ALSO READ: Sanjay Dutt to have ‘relaxed day’ with family after release]
5. Sign ‘Munna Bhai Sudhare Tihar’
Because all the inmates also wants to leave the jails, no? Give them tips on ‘good behaviour’ and give all inmates jaadu ki jhappis thereby sudharofying them for life! Idea! Why not make him give jaadu jhappis to rapists too? Reform India!
6. Start ‘Sanskaari Behaviour 2.0’ classes
How else, just how else, was everyone impressed by his behaviour in jail if not by his sanskaars? He was such a good boy! He left his family each time he was called to jail in between his parole. He even did work in jail! See, Indian sanskaars. All the good good sanskaars.
7. Start Being Insaan
And then, give free paper bags to everyone, abhorring plastic. How about paper bag, cloth bag, recycling classes? Save the planet. Be Insaan!
[ALSO READ: Manoj Bajpayee, Rajkumar Rao happy at Sanjay Dutt’s release]
8. Get back into the habit of actually having to shut his toilet door each time
Ahem. Explanatory enough.
9. Realise he’s the only one doling out the abuses
Or maybe, if Jackie Shroff is around somewhere, he might be able to go back to the jail feel with abuses flying around!
Well, if nothing else, Sanju Baba can definitely go to Noor Mohammadi Hotel and enjoy one last free meal – the Chicken Sanju Baba!