Each year, India celebrates Independence Day on 15th of August and each year, invariably, around the time the feelings of patriotism run high among the countrymen. This is also the time we see Bollywood come out with their Independence Day themed movies and while some take inspiration from freedom fighters or the army-men, others are more relevant to our times. Bollywood has given us amazing hits around freedom and independence and also, based on issues plaguing the nation in the form of movies like – Rang De Basanti, Munna Bhai series, Lagaan, A Wednesday, Border, Mangal Pandey The Rising, Bhagat Singh, Main Hoon Na, etc.Also Read - Poorna: First look of Rahul Bose film unveiled on Mount Kilimanjaro by youngest girl who scaled Mount Everest
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But then, while Bollywood does churn out movie after movie after movie on the most amazing of topics and also on patriotism and love for ones nation, the one thing they somehow forget is their own independence. Times have changed and the world has evolved but sometimes, when we look at Bollywood, it unfortunately seems like it is still standing right at the same place it was all those years ago. Oh sure, many things have changed. There are new actors, new scripts, new technologies, new locations even – but when it comes to the cliches, nothing, absolutely nothing, can beat Bollywood. Seriously. Some of these cliches can make you roll your eyes and even pull out your hair! Also Read - Crack first look: Will Akshay Kumar & Neeraj Pandey deliver yet another blockbuster?
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So this Independence Day, when every Indian is busy saluting the tricolour and Bollywood celebs are busy clicking selfies in their Independence Day attire, we take a look at some changes we wish Bollywood brought about. So Bollywood, when do we get to wish you Happy Independence Day?
1. Item Songs
This is perhaps one of the worst things about Bollywood. There you have a serious movie with a serious track and wham! All of a sudden, out of nowhere, you have an item song. With actresses wearing the skimpiest of clothes and gyrating to the most suggestive lyrics to having the most absurd ideas presented in the form of songs (jalebi bai, like what?!) there’s everything. We really do not need to tell you why item songs are excessively regressive and doing no one any good – no, not even wankers. People will just watch porn, thank you very much. So Bollywood, ban these disgusting numbers already?
2. Rehashed plot lines
Remember that time when 3 Bhagat Singh movies released on the same day, at the same time and were running in theatres simultaneously?! Yeah, you probably only remember the Ajay Devgn one but yes, there were the others too. When Bollywood takes up a topic, they make sure that it’s wrung out to the fullest. Like seriously, there have been so many movies on the same plot and similar story-lines that by the end of it you’re just tired and end up in the theatre with nothing new to expect. Love triangles, similar vamps and even adventure movies are nothing different! Seriously, we are done with rich girl-poor boy Bollywood. Put on that thinking cap!
3. Gay jokes
Dear Bollywood, not all gay men are feminine, wearing multi-colour shirts and walking with a definite lilt to their step. Gay men can be very, very normal. And no, not all lesbians have that perfect photo-shopped body you see on magazine covers and no, neither do they all act like tom-boys. Misrepresentation of the LGBT community (The B and T do not really exist in Bollywood except as an extremely off-the-mark joke) is one of the biggest grouches we all have against Bollywood and we really wish Bollywood sets the record straight. Gays and lesbians are normal human beings too and we wish Bollywood would stop treating them like a joke.
4. “Inspired” songs and plots
We as a nation are extremely inspired but when it comes to Bollywood, they take inspiration to a whole new level. Right from copying songs from the folk nomads of Africa to ripping plot lines and stunts from the most famous (or the most obscure) movies from other languages, our dear Bollywood has done it all. We really wish Bollywood would start acting and behaving like an adult and stop stealing ideas or ahem, “getting inspired” by other film-makers. And even if they wish to remake a movie, why not just give credits and own up to it? No one like plagiarism and we really wish our film-makers stress their grey cells a bit.
5. Senseless lyrics
Bollywood has given us some amazing songs and songs that we can relate to any situation. But then, they also have absurd, senseless lyrics which try as you might you simply cannot understand. They might make for a catchy tune and even make a song you cannot get out of your head but when you actually sit down and try to decipher the lyrics – all you get is a total blank in your head! While we love music and can even take movies which have more songs less matter, we really like it when the songs (even if they are party songs) have some sense and meaning to them. Spare us the Hookah Bar please!
Bollywood seems to thrive on stereotypes. Right from women being the ‘frills’ to a movie to the man being the macho, bread-earner, the movies have them all. We have now progressed and are fighting a war for equality. It is really sad when women are stepping up to men in every field and are trying their best to earn some respect when Bollywood comes right along and upsets everything. People are often inspired by films so when movies show such concepts, the people automatically behave like them. Incidents of eve-teasing and rape have also increased thanks to representation of men and women in films.
7. The age disparity
Despite Bollywood having a host of talent, older actors still continue playing the lead roles and romancing heroines 1/3rd their age. However, the shelf life for heroines is hardly beyond their late twenties. The moment an actress turns ‘older’ or indeed, even married, the types of roles she gets change. She ends up getting the roles of mothers, elder sisters or that annoying spinster aunt while the young brood of actresses replace her on screen. The actresses are often also shown the door for ageing (a natural process) and their life is too short. The age gap between the hero and the heroine is just too huge and sickening and we really, really wish Bollywood changed that and recycled heroes too.
8. The black and white
Bollywood movie characters are black or white – the villain is very evil and the hero is perfect in every way. There’s just no scope for any greys or any confused, normal human beings. The villain also is shown in too much of a negative light and generally, there are no strong reasons for the villain to be bad – or no reasons are given. His henchmen are either too evil or moronically hopeless and also, the hero can take on 50 villain in one go, without as much as them being able to scratch him. The side-characters are not allowed to develop and the focus is too much on just the hero and the heroine. We could do with humans Bollywood, not all super heroes!
9. Bhai’s virginity
Grow up Salman Khan! Bollywood doesn’t really need the erratic man-child.