What can get you entry into Bigg Boss house?

What is that one thing that can get you entry inside the Bigg Boss house?

Written by: Shouvik Chakraborty

Updated: December 28, 2013, 11:22 AM IST

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Have you not decided what to do in life? Are you looking for that lucky break? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!

To get filthy rich and famous, you need a map to the house of Bigg Boss. Virtually unknown a**holes and deadbeats are chosen to be a guest at the mysterious BB’s house. Later they shoot to stardom with their antics in front of the camera.

If you are a female, you must:

• Undergo a wardrobe malfunction. Show everyone your puppies! Carol Gracias was unfortunately picked by the God of disasters. But you can pre-meditate it. No one will know!
• Be active on Twitter! Post a few pics of your pouts and a few obscenities that your mom would be proud of. Post a few raunchy pics “by mistake”.
• Turn in to a foreigner. Or at least find a distant relative from anywhere outside India! You must have one drop of British, Russian or American blood in your body to enter the fortress of losers. So, C’MON! Do your research! Look for that family tree. Be nice to your relatives.

If you are a male, you must: 

• Be a hardcore- douchebag or at least look like an a**. You must have either straight hair like MS Dhoni used to before he dozed off worrying about his future in IPL while getting his hair cut.
• Be involved with drugs. Yea! You might not believe it, but Big Boss is actually a house for recovering drug addicts. Be sure your name appears in the papers for a drug bust or two.
• Not be straight.
• Be terrible at acting in movies. Make sure you have flops against your name. Just to prove how bad you are – keep those review clippings handy. Big Boss chooses both guys and blondes hoping for that white light to fame as they haven’t quite made a mark in the film industry.

Don’t fit any of the criteria? Don’t give up! You also stand a chance to enter the house of nutjobs! Just grab your car keys and run over a few people late at night under the influence of alcohol! Don’t have a driving licence either? That’s even better. Or Possess weapons illegally and make sure your neighbor knows about it. YOUR CALL! GOOD LUCK!

WARNING: The above pointers were just for laughs. Please don’t quit your Engineering degree if you really believe you might have found your calling in Bigg Boss’ house.