1. You’ve been asked these questions at least once in your life: Where are you really from? What was it like growing up in India? Do you speak Indian? Are you going to have an arranged marriage?
2. Growing up, your parents didn’t really understand Halloween, and they often discouraged it by saying it’s the devil’s holiday. And when they did participate— since being left out would be detrimental to your childhood memories— you were dressed as a beautiful Indian princess every year because that is the one dress you had readily available in your closet.
3. It doesn’t matter how much you scored in your exams; your neighbor’s child’s score or that of your distant cousin Bunty, Bubbly or Munnu was way more important! They will always be hailed as the paragon of perfection.
4. Other than your teachers, counselors, parents and distant relatives, who always have an opinion when it comes to your career, you have one more person to consult before finishing your engineering or medical school applications: your family astrologer, of course! Because all important life decisions in the family are made after consulting him.
5. One of the drawers in your kitchen is dedicated to Taco Bell’s fire sauce, McDonald’s ketchup or red crushed pepper packets that came with the Domino’s pizza order. Why? Because no self-respecting Indian American buys it from the store. You may also find empty yogurt and soup containers everywhere. Ask why, and your mother retorts, “Someday it will come to use.”
6. While your friends travel to Miami and Hawaii during summer break, you are flying halfway around the world for more than 15 hours to India to attend a distant relative’s wedding, who you have never met or care about. One hint that you are going to India, and you suddenly become a delivery service for your relatives and friends, both ways. You will find yourself trading American candies and chocolates (which they can probably also buy in India) for Ayurveda medicines, pickles, and sarees.
7. Whenever you have family or friends— who you may not necessarily know— from your homeland sleeping at your house, which happens often, you end giving up your room and sleeping on the couch or airbed. As if booking a hotel room is both rude and worthless.
8. You are used to having more than one pronunciation/spelling for your name. The correct pronunciation your Indian family calls you by, an Americanized pronunciation your friends refer to you as, and then the Starbucks version of your name. No matter how many times you correct people, someone will always get it wrong, and you will have to correct them again and again. But having a complicated Indian name has its perks: Your teachers are less likely to call on you.
Your dilemma with names doesn’t end here. You have a nickname that ends with a suffix such as –iku, -inku, -ni, -lu. For example, we all know a Tikku, Rinku, Muni or Bublu, right? And your parents make sure everyone knows you’re one of these.
9. Everyone assumes you are an expert on everything related to computers math and science, even though, your knowledge of computers is limited and you fared average in math and science.
10. No one, and I repeat no one, can beat desi aunties on a Black Friday shopping spree. They know exactly what to buy and where to find in the store. And they never shop alone; they come in groups or with shopping buddies, where one stands in line and the other quickly grabs the items on the list.
11.Your Secret Santa or White Elephant gifts from your extended family include home goods like hand mixtures and chopping boards that they bought during Black Friday.
12. No matter how non-desi your party, your wedding or any other get-together is, Bollywood and Punjabi music will find its way in.
13. That awkward moment when you have to explain your American friends why your Christmas lights come out a little before Halloween to celebrate Diwali “festival” or when you have to explain aunty from India why the lights from Diwali will stay on till Christmas “holidays.”
If you can recall more signs that make you a true Indian-American, share them in the comments below!
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