A few days ago, it was the 10th anniversary of one of our close friends. The couple shared a picture of theirs, along with a thank you note to everyone who wished for them. We replied with wishes to the gorgeous couple and then forgot about it.Also Read - This 49-Year-Old Mom Says She Watches Porn With Her Teenage Sons to Educate Them About Sex
Forgot about it till my older one asked me why did I lie when I always say lying is terrible. After the initial flux and a few probing questions later, I figured she was talking about my wishes on the couple’s anniversary photograph. ‘You called them gorgeous but mamma, they are not gorgeous at all. Why did you lie mamma?’ Also Read - Father's Day 2021: Best Wishes, WhatsApp Status, Quotes, Images And Greetings to Share With Your Dad
What ensued was a discussion over how these are just pleasantries and how people like to feel special and how we must make everyone feel nice, but I knew we weren’t getting anywhere when she kept insisting on questioning why lying is ok for me and not for her. Also Read - Father's Day 2021: Pamper Your Dad With These Delectable Almond Based Recipes
“I can not say you are ugly.”
“So dont say anything.”
“It doesn’t harm anyone.”
“Doesn’t help also.”
“The intention was to make someone happy.”
“Won’t they be happy with compliments which are true?”
P.S. I appreciate inquisitiveness and honesty, but this was getting beyond me too.
While I did somehow manage to get her off my back, but it did make me reminisce all the white ‘lies’ we tell each other every day. It also reminded me of a similar conversation with a friend years ago.
“Why is it compulsory to write ‘beautiful couple’ beneath every wedding photograph? They are not looking beautiful.”
We had a good laugh over it and called him mean and told him to be nice. And now nearly the same comment years later from my child, was very amusing and a reflection on how some of these things travel across time and generation.
When I look at my everyday life, the number of times I say these little ‘lies’ is at par with the number of times I emphasise the value of honesty. There are times I preach and ‘lie’ in the same breath. And yet, these little statements easily slip our mind.
“Oh wow. I love the gift.”
“Amazing food ya. You are ready for master chef.”
“You look lovely”
“Yes my child, you are a wonderful singer.”
“Ya, I get what you saying.”
“Be there in 5 mins.”
“I didn’t see my phone.”
And the list goes on and on…
Of course, these are innocuous statements, ‘white lies’ as they are called – harmless fibs said for diplomatic reasons or saving someone’s feelings from getting hurt. They differ from the ‘frowned upon lies’ as they are not intended to harm or hide but intended to create positivity and feel-good.
Not to say that this is a habit to be encouraged.
It can easily surpass the realms of innocuity and transcend into darker spaces. However, barring the obvious moral dilemma, these small fibs many times keep life interesting.
We learn to laugh at the person who claims to be just reaching and is always 2 hours late.
We take the much-needed space, and potentially avoid an uncomfortable conversation for both sides when we pretend to not hear the phone ring.
We bring a smile that lasts the entire day and at times lingers in the memory for years, by giving that one compliment that sparks joy in someone.
We share love and build life-long confidence in a child by appreciating their efforts at anything new. The number of sweet little lies I tell my kids every day makes me realise parenting is a lot about fibbing.
‘Do you like my drawing?’
‘Did I add too much sugar for you?’
‘No darling, it is perfect.’
‘Did you like my performance.’
‘It was great’
From clapping for the first drawing to appreciating their not very nice exam results to celebrating the failures, to gobbling up the first meal cooked… lots of fibs and lots of memories to smile back at always.
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