Year-ender 2018: List of Most Common New Year Resolutions Hardly Has Anything For me…Let me Look Elsewhere For Inspiration

It is that time when even the most casual among us get serious and start drawing up resolutions for the coming year.

It’s that time of the year again when people get all pensive, evaluating how the year went and what didn’t work out as per their plans. It is that time when even the most casual among us get serious and start drawing up resolutions for the coming year. Here’s the list which Google says has the most common resolutions for 2019. I have tweaked a few of them, customised them to suit me. However, most of them aren’t even fit to be called resolutions. See for yourself and you might just agree:

1. Make More Friends: No, sorry, not happening. In 2018, I changed jobs and I also ‘made’ friends, or so I thought. What I did end up making was a big fool of myself. In 2019, I resolve not to go out of my way. How do you make ‘more’ friends, anyway? It is not like some work-related target; you cannot say that “in 2018, I made four new friends so, in 2019, I will make six more.” I would rather resolve to stay in touch with people who have stood by me, have guided me or just been around when I needed them.

2. Lose Weight: Already done that in 2018. Without actually resolving to do so. Now, I resolve to lose the weight of the emotional baggage I carry. That’s something I am not exactly proud of. And honestly, lugging it around is a strain on the heart too. So I am going to detach myself from people, incidents, and emotions that have only burdened me in 2018.

3. Stick to a Budget: A salaried person like me doesn’t have much of a choice, does she? While I don’t really draw up a budget, I cannot afford to splurge either. So how is this a resolution even? The budget draws itself and I am forced to stick to it. I earn money at the end of the month, and it’s gone by the time my next pay cheque comes. Duh!

4. Make More Money: How? Unless I am an entrepreneur, how am I to make more money? Do I start moonlighting? But that would attract a case against me because I cannot be working for someone else while being employed where I am. I wasn’t stoned when I signed my contract, you know? Maybe they mean making envelopes out of the newspaper at home. Or selling homemade achaar and papad (which I cannot even make). Still trying to figure out this one.

5. Get More Sleep: There were only 24 hours in a day, the last time I checked. Of those, I devote nine to the job that fetches me just about enough money to mull over #4. Add another two for commuting to and from office. That’s 11 hours gone. Leaves me with 13 hours. Add seven hours of time at home (cooking, laundry, exercising, reading, writing, and screaming at the kids). So I get six hours of sleep, which is pretty decent, considering how my previous job also gave me six hours of shut-eye, but in instalments. So I am getting a fair quota of sleep. Why should I be wanting to sleep more? And if I do, then that would mean cutting corners in sticking to some other resolutions, like ‘making more money’ or even ‘losing weight’.

6. Get More Exercise: Thank you very much! I didn’t fit into my daughter’s clothes in three months’ time by sitting around! I’ve been ahead of the game, looks like. So in 2019, I will exercise my grey cells more. I will be aware of what’s happening around me…and no, I don’t mean I will watch/ read the news. I do that too, thank you again. U2 sang, “The more you see the less you know, The less you find out as you go…” and I grudgingly agree. In my middle age, I realise the 20-somethings are way more cunning than I am. So, in 2019, I will use my head more than my heart. And as far as new year resolutions are concerned, I’d like to believe I am too special to do common.

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