Kanwariyas Aren’t Aggressive, Violent Like You Would Have me Believe

That's how I've known India to be. We live and let live. So what's suddenly changed?

In this day and age, anything and everything makes news. Now even Kanwariyas are making news! Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that while growing up, I would see them walk past in a single file, carrying the kanwar. I would be vaguely amused but couldn’t care less. And that’s how it’s been for years; that’s how I’ve known India to be. We live and let live. So what’s suddenly changed? I noticed a change when someone recently posted a photo of Kanwariyas atop a bus. She captioned it with: “This is a common sight when I am dropping my kids to school.” That was Gurugram. In neighbouring Delhi, a bunch of Kanwariyas went berserk and vandalised a car in Motinagar because it committed the heinous crime of brushing past one of them. The occupants thankfully escaped unhurt. They also did not lodge a complaint. In Bulandshahr, Kanwariyas vandalised a police vehicle. The Internet tells me that schools in Ghaziabad were shut for a few days. I also saw some photos on social media with Kanwariyas purportedly drinking liquor.

Before you start bristling that I am painting all the Kanwariyas with the same brush, I am not. I am on their side! I am advocating the Kanwariya cause. I know they are Shiv bhakts. And Shiv ji wasn’t blessed with a very mild temperament, was He? There, now you all Kanwariya-bashers know! I will address each of those incidents and tell you how the Kanwariyas were NOT wrong. In fact, they were completely justified in doing whatever they did. The Gurugram scenes: It is no big deal. Kanwariyas just get so tired walking they need a little distraction. And that’s what it was. And if a woman thinks they are ogling at her, I would tell her to ignore them, just as she does all the other men on the road. Just because they’re clad in saffron, you think they will stop behaving like men? Duh?

The Motinagar episode: So there is this teeny weeny car going…wherever. And there are our all-powerful Kanwariyas walking from the opposite side. Now the driver thinks the same rules apply to everyone and Kanwariyas would keep a safe distance. But that’s not true. Kanwariyas are Shiv Bhakts. And they are in huge numbers. PTI tells me it was a woman and as an Indian woman, the driver should’ve known she was in enemy territory. She had the cheek to allow her tin box to brush past these religious, peace-loving men who weren’t troubling anyone but just walking all over the place. She asked for it, I tell you. She should be glad that she and her friend were spared. The car wasn’t.

The Bulandshahr vandalism: Again, it wasn’t Kanwariyas’ fault, no sir! Apparently, a man picked a fight with another group and he summoned his Kanwariya friends who must happily have been on their way _ to fetch holy water, what else _ but for distraction, they stopped for a bit to help out. A la-all for one, one for all. That the police vehicle came in their way cannot be their fault. They are Shiv Bhakts and Shivji did tandav also. These guys just damaged a police vehicle.

As far as videos or photos of some of them taking liquor on their way are concerned, well, Shiv bhakts can be granted that much, can’t they? And if Ghaziabad schools were closed for a few days, they did it for a bigger cause after all.

But how come there weren’t such stories last year? I jog my memory and recall that last year the SP Govt in UP had banned loudspeakers so Kanwariyas quietly went about their business and we went about ours; neither coming in the way of the other. This year, we have the BJP at the helm and in the spirit of secularism, they have allowed loudspeakers, music and have made every effort to turn it into as much a pleasure trip for the saffron-clad pilgrims as they can allow. In fact, the Meerut ADG went on to shower rose petals on them from a helicopter. And why not? If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

(Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece and the views expressed are that of the author)