The Pros & Cons Of Ki & Ka’s Gender-Bending Message

Does Kareena Kapoor Khan and Arjun Kapoor's "Ki & Ka" actually break stereotypes or just cause more problems along the way?

[Photo Source: Facebook/Ki and Ka]

The subject of gender equality has rarely been touched upon in Bollywood films—at least not before actors and filmmakers such as Kangana Ranaut, Vikas Bahl, and Anushka Sharma chose to shine the spotlight on female empowerment in the last few years. Now, R. Balki has followed suit in a more direct and outspoken manner with “Ki & Ka.”

The film follows the simple (yet novel) concept: The wife is the breadwinner and the husband is the one who takes care of the home. Balki was likely hoping to criticize the gender stereotypes that deter women from leading successful careers and only being seen as the “pillar” of strength behind their husband’s glory.

But now that the movie has been out for a week, it’s only natural to check out the reviews and audience reactions to find out whether or not Balki and his team have been able to truly prove their theorem: That in the end, men and women should not be confined to certain criteria, both in a relationship and in life.

Sadly, while the acting has been accurately praised, the biggest issue of the film is that while crushing certain stereotypes of gender, it reinforces others that are, in some ways, far more dangerous. At times, unfortunately, the film adds to the overwhelming problem of how gender is seen in India.

A little context first: Kia (Kareena Kapoor Khan) is a successful marketing manager with no interest settling down to be a quintessential Indian housewife. She meets Kabir (Arjun Kapoor) on a plane after seeing him crying over missing his mother who had passed away 10 years prior—and whose birthday is that very day. The audience learns how Kia is ambitious and hopes to become a leader in her company while Kabir wants to follow in his mother’s footsteps and take care of the household. The more the two talk, the more it seems like they would be a perfect fit, so they quickly get married with the blessing of Kia’s mom—who is much more “progressive” than Kabir’s dad, a business tycoon who is humiliated by his son’s “lack of manhood.”

“Ki & Ka” quickly shows how “different” Kia and Kabir’s married life is compared to most in India. Kia kicks ass at work (as does her working mother) and comes home to find Kabir has made delicious dinner while also caring for the house (alongside the maid Kia employed before she met Kabir.) Kia’s officemates soon discover their “fascinating” setup—and from there, things divulge into a strange second half which involves Kia getting jealous of Kabir’s growing fame as a proud house-husband.

Now it’s important to note that the general premise of this tale is a valiant one. Neither men nor women should be criticized for the way they want to live their lives. If a man wants to run a household and a woman wants to be the CEO of her company, we should applaud the fact that these men and women have goals and dreams for their lives. But where Balki and his team succeed in setting up this premise, they fail in the way the premise is then explored and executed, despite the noble way they showcase Kia’s growth in career success.

For example, halfway through the film when Kia’s career is really starting to take off, we see Kabir getting jealous and angry that Kia spent the night talking to a man from her company at a work-related cocktail event. Kabir later angrily insults Kia by saying she should just sleep her way to the top of the corporate food chain. And yet, after a quick physical assault on Kabir, Kia immediately falls into bed with him.

Now, this may not seem like a huge problem, as it does show the difference between how a man’s success would be interpreted over a woman’s—but why does Kabir even have to make such a hateful comment to his wife? If he wanted to be angry for not being able to spend more time with his wife, that anger is justified. But this kind of behavior from a man who is praised throughout the film for understanding and appreciating women should not be tolerated.

This incident is quickly forgotten as the film progresses, as Balki and Co. focus their attentions on a new idea: No matter the gender, a breadwinner and the person taking care of the household will always have tension if attention is shifted away from the obvious party. Confused? Here’s how they explain it:

Kia and Kabir’s marriage and career arrangement are applauded by Kia’s workmates as she proudly proclaims her husband has no problem with Kia being the sole earner in their household—which she even proclaims loudly and proudly during a TV interview as her career begins to skyrocket. But quickly, public attention and focus shifts from Kia to Kabir as he begins to talk more and more about gender equality, all in the hopes to give his wife publicity in order to further her career more and more. But unlike Kabir who loves when his wife’s accomplishments are noticed, Kia grows more and more jealous that she is not the one in the spotlight.

This culminates in a huge fight where Kia is automatically turned into a shrill, angry, paranoid woman as Kabir’s character stays intact. Kia is made to look even worse when she freaks out at the possibility of being pregnant halfway through the film, and she blames Kabir for tricking her into staying at home with a child and killing her career.

News flash to Balki and team: Not all working women are afraid of getting pregnant, even if they are attempting to climb to the top of a big business, and this big of an outburst is truly alarming.

Kia’s mother attempts to explain that when attention is shifted away from a breadwinner to the person running the household, he or she is always bound to be jealous. Unfortunately, this logic makes little to no sense, even as the film uses surprise cameos from Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan to prove this point.

In the end, Kia is left wearing several stereotypes despite breaking the stereotypes about being the breadwinner in a relationship. She is made to look crazy and paranoid when she accuses Kabir of stealing her thunder and tricking her into a pregnancy (and later when she is much too relieved not to be pregnant). Kia is also made to look completely ungrateful for her husband’s actions in the home while Kabir appears to do everything for his wife.

What the film eventually turns into is not only a story of how self-conscious breadwinners in a relationship can be but also how much worse the tension in that relationship can get when a woman is a breadwinner. And if that stereotype forms, working women in India will continue to be insulted and hindered for many more years to come.