The First-Time Daddy’s Guide Part One: How to Prepare Before D-Day

Let’s face it: Babies don’t leave much for the father to do during pregnancy.

By Pranish Kantesaria

Let’s face it: Babies don’t leave much for the father to do during pregnancy. There’s no owner’s manual to read and your baby mama is doing the heavy lifting in the manufacturing department. It’s too early for shopping and you can’t truly start obsessing over names yet. So other than reading daddy books (future column) and learning how to fold a stroller (harder than it looks) there doesn’t seem like a lot to do. Not true.

Along this Journey of a New Dad, there are many tangible ways to show that you’re excited and invested in bringing this baby into the world. While she’s doing the heavy lifting you can make her life a little easier and reassure her you’re going to not only be prepared but also make a great dad.

Be Prepared Tip #1: Pack a Bag

One of the things that you will notice is that your partner’s needs change. While there are obvious changes like cravings and morning sickness (which happens any time of the day) there are more subtle things. There are more that she wouldn’t even think to verbalize. Since the baby is now using her bladder as a punching bag she will need to pee much more frequently.

One of the results is that she will get thirsty more often. Start packing a bottle of water whenever you go out so she doesn’t have to remember. Make sure it’s cold since her body temperature may be increased.  It takes a lot of energy to make all of those baby parts!  This way, when she’s complaining about being thirsty you’ll look psychic.

Since you’re packing a bottle of water, may as well throw in a few snacks. Hunger can trigger nausea, especially during the first trimester. Not to mention hunger makes people cranky. A cereal bar or a banana and some nuts will do the trick. (How will you keep said banana from turning to mush in a bag, you ask? Behold, the Banana Bunker.)

Since your gal has hormones coursing through her body all day long, this can sometimes have weird effects. Like all of a sudden having a bad taste in her mouth. Keep some gum handy for when that happens. It’s also useful for helping to fight nausea.

Be Prepared Tip #2: Stock the Pantry

For the first few months of pregnancy your baby basically wants to be left alone to make sure all the parts are forming and fitting together correctly. But you can help the process along by making sure mom is eating well and having a few things in the kitchen that will make life easier. Foods high in DHA are good for fetal brain development so some seafood (appropriately cooked of course) is a good thing to keep around.

Pasta, rice, and bread! Keep the carbs coming. It will be much easier than normal for mom to get hypoglycemic. Also, if my Mrs. is representative, your gal will be craving carbs. They tend to be bland, and with heartburn becoming a real issue, bland is good. Keep some ginger ale around for when nausea hits unexpectedly. And also for when dinner doesn’t sit well and she needs something to soothe her tummy.

Lastly, call her mom. Find out what her comfort foods were when she was a kid. I guarantee she’ll be asking for them at some point.

Be Prepared Tip #3: Support her ‘Baby Brain’

Also known as pregnancy brain or momnesia, this is a thing. It’s real! Don’t bring it up or you will get yelled at. If your partner is already hyper-organized then she’ll probably be fine. If not, she may become extra forgetful, so here are a few suggestions. Stick a pen and some index cards in her purse so she always has a place to jot stuff down.

Download a to-do app on her smartphone. We set up a shared notebook in Evernote for all things baby. We keep our list of baby names, articles we like, to do lists, pictures, you name it. You may also want to pick up a scanner. Babies not only come with a lot of stuff, they come with a lot of paperwork. Scanning it and saving it Dropbox or that shared Evernote folder makes it easy to find, easily accessible and won’t clutter up the house.

I’m beginning to realize that being a dad is mostly about two things: (1) be prepared and (2) want to be a dad. Very few of us will wake up one day and know everything we need to know to be a father. It’s about taking a step towards that goal. And then another, and another. I’m pretty sure I’ll never fully reach that goal, but that’s ok. At least I’m highly likely to be a better dad than Darth Vader… and that is a start!

This story originally appeared on Saffluence.