10 reasons why Rahul Gandhi should be the next Prime Minister

For some reason Rahul Gandhi is mocked as a PM candidate, we think he would make a fine PM.

Written by: Nirmalya 'Nemo' Dutta

Updated: January 28, 2014, 8:54 AM IST

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Watching Manmohan Singh explain his government’s reforms, talk about corruption and also take down Modi in the same robotic monotone was downright depressing. Thankfully, he promised to pass on the baton. Now what we need is a young hungry one who would lead us to glory and who better than Rahul Gandhi, who has been tutored for this spot since he was in his nappies. I mean imagine if we ended up with Robert Vadra instead. So here are 10 solid reasons we want Rahul baba to be the next PM:

Update: Bonus Reason: His amazing interview with Arnab Goswami where he proves that women’s empowerment is the panacea for all of society’s problems and referring to oneself in the third person doesn’t make you sound smarter!

1. He shares his name with SRK’s most beloved characters

‘Rahul… Naam to suna hi hoga’. Who wouldn’t want to have that person as our PM? I mean does ‘Arvind – naam to suna hi hoga or Narendra – naam to suna hi hoga’ have the same ring!

2. He will be a more vocal Prime Minister than Manmohan Singh

We yearn to hear more from the head of our country. In 10 years, Manmohan gave three full-fledged conferences, three! Hell, Narendra Modi and Arvind Kejriwal probably give more press conferences in an hour! Anyway, we felt that we needed a more conversational PM who would talk to  us from time to time and Rahul baba is perfect for that. Also he’s prettier to look at than that Kejriwal fellow with his atrocious muffler and Modi’s beard.

3. He understands high-end physics and philosophy

We know he has been mocked for saying poverty was a state of mind and he’s not wrong. If someone like Tagore said it, we’d be praising him to the high heavens for saying something intellectual but anything Rahul Gandhi says is mocked. But geniuses were always mocked by their peers and Rahul baba’s situation is just the same. And come on how many politicians barring Kejriwal have a clue what escape velocity means!

4. His name is Gandhi for God’s sake

Come on the man’s surname is Gandhi. If there’s one Indian surname that people around the world recognise, it’s Gandhi. In fact, with a little data fudging ala Modi we could probably pass him off as Gandhi’s grandson or something.

5. Prime Ministership runs in his blood

His great grandfather was the Prime Minister, his grandmother and father were ones as well! Politics is probably embedded in his gene and he must have his birthright.

6. He isn’t always angry about everything like Arvind Kejriwal

It’s become the in-thing to be angry about everything ala Kejriwal who probably can’t get through breakfast without finding five things to protest about. Although Rahul’s temper has been lost from time to time in the recent past, he comes across a cool head.

7. He doesn’t twist historical facts

Unlike Narendra Modi who keeps on making up stuff, Rahul Gandhi has never, ever been accused of twisting historical facts. In fact, he’s pretty much likely that he has seen or witnessed or heard about anything historical that’s happened in India.

8. He hasn’t ever asked for giant statues

Mr Modi wants to erect a 182 m statue of Sardar Patel which will be the tallest statute in the world. Come on is that really a good use of resources when the nation has so many pressing issues to deal with! Shouldn’t we focus on stuff that’s really important like food or the latest Salman Khan movie? Rest assured Rahul Gandhi will never bother with such crass symbolism.

9. He will be able to converse with foreign leaders

Having studied abroad, Mr Gandhi will surely be able to converse comfortably with foreign delegates and leaders unlike others. When current BJP chief Rajnath Singh went to the US and addressed delegates, no one could understand a single word. We surely won’t have similar problems with Rahul.

10. He had hot girlfriends and is easy on the eyes

The rumour mills suggest that Mr Rahul Gandhi is quite popular with the ladies. Who wouldn’t want a PM who can talk to the ladies? Would you rather have a engineer who probably hasn’t talked to a girl  in his life or a celibate like Mr Narendra Modi who promises never to marry. Not to mention he has never been accused of using state resources to stalk women!

And for all the ladies out there who are sick of looking at politicians who look like their uncles or local goons or South Indian heroes. The nation’s ladies have waited a long time for a politician who is easy on the eyes and Mr Gandhi surely fits the bill!